Men have stronger sex drives than women, it is scientifically proven. Of course, there will always be exceptions to the rule but for the vast majority of human beings, genetic males are more horny then genetic females.
Part of this is due to the fact that “sexual desire in women is extremely sensitive to environment and context”, as stated by Edward O.Laumann, Ph.D. From the University of Chicago.
On the whole, men think more about sex than women do, on average men under 60 think about sex at least once a day and as we age both men and women fantasize less but men still fantasize about twice as often. Men also have more spontaneous sexual arousal and varied fantasies compared to women. This isn’t just the case for heterosexuals, gay men have sex more often than lesbians at all the stages of the relationship.
Complicated Turn Ons
Some women do not even know what turns them on 100%. Meredith Chivers a professor of psychology in Ontario Canada and a sexologist conducted an experiment where they showed erotic films to men and women. For men, they were more turned on by male-female sex and female-female sex. But for women, the results did not just follow expectations, unsurprisingly women were most turned on by male-female sex but their physical reaction showed the same level of reaction to male-male and female-female sex.
Changes Over Time
Roy Baumeister a social psychologist from Ohio, USA found studies showing that women’s sex drives were influenced greatly by social and cultural factors.
Because of this over time womens attitudes (and willingness to perform) sexual practices are more likely to change over time than men.
Women are also more influenced by the attitudes of their peer group in decisions about sex.
Women with higher education levels are more likely to have performed a wider variety of sexual practices but in men, education made less of a difference.
Women were more likely than men to show inconsistency between their expressed values about sex and their actual behavior.
Women take a less direct route to sexual satisfaction; a plot is often wanted which is why the romance novel has become such a phenomenon. Esther Perel, New York Psychotherapist has said “the anticipation, how you ger there; it is the longing that is the fuel for desire” because it “is more contextual, more subjective and more layered on a lattice of emotion”. With then sex is more straightforward and for many is a language to express their tender, loving and vulnerable side.
On average men take 4 minutes from the point of entry until ejaculation, according to Laumann. Women usually take 10-11 minutes to reach orgasm (if they do). Because of this, it is unsurprisingly that the data shows 75% of men say they always have an orgasm, as opposed to 26% of women. However, the data also shows that men think women hit it 45% of the time.
Estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone all affect sexual desire and arousal in women. Having higher levels of estrogen in the body promotes vaginal lubrication and increases sexual desire. An increase in progesterone can actually reduce sexual dire. Then with testosterone, there are large debates within the scientific communities on how testosterone affects female sex drive, as low levels may cause low sex drive. But increasing testosterone with treatment does not seem to increase sex drive. Whereas with men often the results are often noticeable in a short period of time.
How to Increase Sex Drive
Of course, everyone is different and the same thing will not always work however the below can make huge changes to your desire for sex:
- Exercise can increase stamina, improve your body image, improve mood and therefore boost your libido.
- De-Stress. Decreasing stress levels can enhance your sex life.
- Communicate with your partner about sex, about your wants and dislikes. This can lead to better sex and a stronger connection between a couple.
- Scheduling. This isn’t for everyone and may seem crazy to some. But making it a priority can put everything back on track.
- Mix it up. Try a different position, time, location, add a toy or more foreplay. Finding something new may rekindle your sexual desire.
Low sex drive can be difficult for both partners and fluctuations in sex drive are a normal part of every relationship and every stage of life. It is natural to feel frustrated or sad if you are not able to be as sexy or as romantic as you want.
Go for a walk, maybe an extra hour’s sleep. Kiss your partner goodbye, make date night special. Both of you feeling good about yourselves and each other may lead to the best sex yet…